Dear Internet

Dear Internet.

I hope you are well. I know I haven't been using you much recently, and I know you like to be used, but I'm sorry, I've been hurting.

Our temporary separation has highlighted one or two things to me about our relationship. Sure, I'm aware I took you for granted and maybe didn't give you the respect you deserved. And I must assure you, it's not you, it's me. That said though, my time without you has made me realise that you do talk a lot of crap sometimes. There are sites and blogs I would feel deficient if I didn't visit regularly. I know now that I don't need them.

You see, my dear Internet, I've been seeing others behind your back. I know this is going to hurt but I'm afraid I have to be honest. You'll get over it I know you will but I must confess. The complete first series of Mad Men I watched on DVD over two days was dirty of me I know but even you and your Google database of my search history should know that I like a bit of well detailed retro. Lindsay Anderson's O Lucky Man showed me how to be a real man while Iron Man left me feeling slutty. I even scored with a German intellectual in the form of The Wave which got me thinking. Sorry dear Internet, I do not ask for forgiveness.

I have to, I'm afraid, also confess that it wasn't all pressing buttons. I've been thumbing paper as well. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies made me laugh again without it involving cats. I also read about music in the form of Thank You For The Days and Lost In Music. And they were both gentle with me I can assure you. And I must confess to a lengthy late night pillow session discussing ethics in graphics with Good.

There were others as well my little virtual reality. I witness things, places and people. British Sea Power, Thom Yorke, Magazine and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds enthralled me. The Peak District showered her beauty down upon my body and Le Tour de France gripped me by the seat of my pants. I've also caressed pens and pencils between my fingers and I've filled memory sticks to overflowing with images of the natural world and man mad beauty & ugliness.

So dear Internet, you can see I've been busy in your absence but I now feel it is time to reignite our feelings for each other. However, my binary friend, I wish not for the old dominating S&M relationship we previously had. I want a new one, one built on sharing our lives with others. There's room for more than solitary tappings and scrollings. There has to be if you and I are going to have a future together.

And so, I leave you now until the next time. I do love you but I won't let you control me, you have to understand.

Yours not quite so faithfully,

Nigel